There are a lot of things in life that are simple and straightforward. Want to lose weight? Eat less and get more active. Want to ace an exam? Put the time in and study. Want to excel at your job and earn a promotion? Add value to your work.
But what happens when we apply the same simple and straightforward approach to getting your ex back. Just been dumped and want your ex back? Apologize repeatedly, tell them how sorry you are, and use grand gestures to prove how much you love them so they give you a second chance. Right?
The simple and straightforward approach doesn’t work for getting your ex back. The “common sense” thing to do is usually the last thing you want to do when it comes to repairing a relationship with your ex. Because it’s so different from everything else in life, just about everyone screws it up time and time again until they eventually figure it out.
Today I want to help you avoid those same mistakes, so you don’t have to go through all the heartache to figure it out on your own.
First things first: don’t try to get your ex back immediately following a breakup. Emotions are simply too high. You’re an emotional wreck. Your ex is an emotional wreck. Space is your best ally at this point.
Remember, you want your ex to miss you. They can’t miss you if you’re always in their face or constantly sending them texts, begging for a second chance. Speaking of texts, there’s actually a really good way to get your ex back using text messages. That would be a really good topic for another article on another day. Read this Text Your Ex Back review if you want the details now.
But anyway, back to my point about creating space with your ex. I know it doesn’t make a lot of logical sense. If I want my ex back, shouldn’t I try to spend MORE time with them, not LESS? Won’t they just go find someone else if I’m not around? They’ll forget about me if I don’t stay in touch, right?
On the surface, all of those questions seem pretty logical. But breakups simply don’t work that way.
There are a lot of really good reasons to create space with your ex if you want him or her back. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to get into all of them right now, so I’ll leave you with something I learned from relationship author Michael Fiore.
“You see your past relationship about as clearly as a drunken frat boy in Daytona Beach sees the last lonely MILF at the bar. In other words, through rose-colored beer goggles with blinders and a smear of Vaseline for that special romantic foggy blur. Killing your old relationship in your mind and your heart will allow you to look at it objectively, understand what went wrong, and build a better future for yourself and your ex.”
What he’s saying is, you don’t want your old relationship back. What you want instead is to create a new, better relationship with your ex. In order to do that, you need to take a step back and look at the situation objectively. You simply can’t do that if you immediately pursue your ex like a bloodhound on the trail of a rabbit.